Hi, I voyage(travel) a lot but my favorite place is in Spain. I was on(in) Spain there is 5years(5 years ago) with my siblings and their children.,Except(except for) my middle brother he, who wasn't there. There was my brothers friend's(My brother's friend was there) with his dog too. The vacation house is(was) really big and so smart(very nice) there were a swimming pools. There was a swimming pool but I didn't like that(it) because there was a lot of wasp(were a lot of wasps),.and the night is worseThe nights were worse: the mosquitoes ate we all time(bit us all the time). Other point(Also,) we walked a lot and I love so much that(loved that so much). We visited church, museum (churches and museums). And I played with my brother's kids. One night I slept outside because it was so hot. Ah the(The) weather is(was) very hot when we were there. So I had(got) a sunburn. I bought a lot of stuff. And it is really funny(It was really fun.) When it was time to came(come) back, we were really sad. The food there it was(was) so good,. I ate paella and paella and paella,, but the sweet things it wasn't(desserts weren't) good andi(I) was a little disappointed. And I think it's(that's) all for this trip.
✅ Le texte corrigé, en entier
Hi, I travel a lot but my favorite place is Spain. I was in Spain 5 years ago with my siblings and their children, except for my middle brother, who wasn't there. My brother's friend was there too, with his dog. The vacation house was really big and very nice. There was a swimming pool, but I didn't like it because there were a lot of wasps. The nights were worse: the mosquitoes bit us all the time. We also walked a lot, and I loved that so much. We visited churches and museums, and I played with my brother's kids. One night I slept outside because it was so hot. The weather was very hot when we were there, so I got a sunburn. I bought a lot of stuff. It was really fun. When it was time to come back, we were really sad. The food there was so good — I ate paella and paella and paella! But the desserts weren't good, and I was a little disappointed. And I think that's all for this trip.
✨ Une version étoffée (~200 mots)
Même histoire, mais avec des petits détails, des sentiments et des connecteurs pour arriver à 200 mots sans te répéter. Ce qui est surligné = ce que tu aurais pu ajouter.
Hi! I travel a lot, but my favorite place is Spain. I went there five years ago with my siblings and their children — everyone came except my middle brother. My brother's friend joined us too, with his dog. The vacation house was really big and very nice, with a swimming pool and a beautiful garden. Sadly, I didn't enjoy the pool much, because there were a lot of wasps around it, and the nights were even worse: the mosquitoes bit us all the time! During the day, we walked a lot, and I absolutely loved that. We visited beautiful old churches and interesting museums, and in the afternoons I played with my brother's kids. One night it was so hot that I slept outside under the stars. Because the weather was so hot, I got a bad sunburn. I also bought a lot of little souvenirs to bring home. It was such a fun trip that, when it was time to leave, we were all really sad. The food was amazing — I ate paella almost every day! The only disappointment was the desserts, which weren't very good. All in all, it was an unforgettable holiday, and I can't wait to go back!
≈ 205 mots ✓
Erreurs fréquentes
Erreur
Pourquoi
"is / love / walk" pour raconter le passé
un souvenir de voyage se raconte au prétérit : was, loved, walked…
"on Spain"
un pays / une ville = in (I was in Spain, in Madrid)
"there is 5 years"
« il y a 5 ans » = 5 years ago (jamais "there is")
"a swimming pools", "a lot of wasp"
accord : "a" + singulier / "a lot of" + pluriel (wasps, mosquitoes)
"the house it was", "the food it was"
un seul sujet par verbe → on enlève le "it" en trop
Le temps du récit — tout le texte parle d'un voyage passé, donc tout est au prétérit : the house was big, I loved that, the weather was hot. Attention aux "is" qui reviennent.
"I was on Spain there is 5 years" → "I was in Spain 5 years ago" — un pays prend "in", et « il y a X ans » = "X years ago" (à la fin).
"Except my middle brother he wasn't there" → except for my middle brother, who wasn't there. — on relie avec "who" au lieu de coller deux morceaux.
"There was my brothers friend's with his dog" → My brother's friend was there too, with his dog. — un seul apostrophe-s : my brother's friend (l'ami de mon frère).
"the mosquitoes ate we all time" → the mosquitoes bit us all the time. — un moustique bite (piquer, passé : bit) ; "we" devient "us" (complément) ; "all the time".
"I love so much that" → "I loved that so much" — passé + ordre des mots : verbe + complément + "so much".
"We visited church, museum" → "We visited churches and museums" — au pluriel (tu en as vu plusieurs) et reliés par "and".
"it is really funny" → "it was really fun" — fun = amusant/agréable ; funny = drôle (qui fait rire). Ici tu veux "fun".
"the sweet things it wasn't good" → "the desserts weren't good" — "desserts" (ou "the sweets") ; pluriel → "weren't" ; et on enlève le "it".
Ponctuation — plusieurs phrases sont collées par des virgules ; coupe avec un point, un "and" ou un tiret, comme dans la version corrigée. Et toujours un grand I.
✍️ Pour aller plus loin
Situer dans le temps avec des connecteurs : First… / One day… / In the evening… / On the last day…
Ajouter un sentiment avec "because" : "I loved the walks because the landscapes were beautiful."
Varier les verbes de goût au passé : I enjoyed… / I loved… / I hated… / I was surprised by…
Une vraie conclusion : "All in all, it was an unforgettable trip and I really want to go back."