Rédaction anglais

Correction — Texte 4

« Si je gagnais beaucoup d'argent… » : le conditionnel (would)

Légende

rouge barré = erreur à corriger · (vert italique) = meilleure tournure

If I won a lot of money I would use that(some of it) for the pepole(to help the people) who don't have money. And if afther I have yet money(I still had money after that) I bought(would buy) a house with a big ground(field) for have horse(to have horses) and ride horse(go horse riding). In the house, I would like a swimming pool. No — maybe I bought(would buy) a ranch with a swimming pool. I would travel a lot too. In(On) my ranch I took a guys for do(would hire people to do) everything. I would like had(to have) 2 dogs and 6 cats it was so funny. It would be so much fun.

✅ Le texte corrigé, en entier

If I won a lot of money, I would use some of it to help the people who don't have money. And if I still had money after that, I would buy a house with a big field to have horses and go horse riding. In the house, I would like a swimming pool. No — maybe I would buy a ranch with a swimming pool! I would travel a lot too. On my ranch, I would hire people to do everything. I would like to have 2 dogs and 6 cats. It would be so much fun.

✨ Une version étoffée (~200 mots)

Ton texte fait ≈ 75 mots — il en faut 200 ! Voici la même idée, mais avec des détails, des sentiments et des connecteurs pour y arriver sans te répéter. Ce qui est surligné = ce que tu aurais pu ajouter.

If I won a lot of money, it would change my whole life. First of all, I would use some of it to help the people who don't have money, because I think it is important to share when you are lucky. I would give to charities for children and for abandoned animals. And if I still had money after that, I would buy a house with a big field, somewhere quiet in the countryside, to have horses and go horse riding every day. I would probably have three or four horses, and I would learn to take care of them myself. In the house, I would like a big swimming pool. Actually, no — maybe I would buy a whole ranch with a swimming pool! I would travel a lot too, especially to Canada, Japan and Australia, with my family and my best friends. On my ranch, I would hire nice people to help me do everything. Of course, I would like to have 2 dogs and 6 cats, and I would give them all funny names. It would be so much fun, and I think I would feel really happy and free.

≈ 210 mots ✓

Erreurs fréquentes

Erreur	Pourquoi
"I bought / I took / had"	c'est un rêve → conditionnel partout : I would buy / I would hire / to have (jamais le passé)
"pepole"	orthographe : people (et c'est déjà un pluriel, pas de "s")
"for the people who don't have money"	but = to + verbe : to help people (jamais "for" tout seul ici)
"afther I have yet money"	« encore » = still, pas "yet" ici : if I still had money after that
"a big ground"	ground = le sol ; un terrain/pré = a field
"for have horse"	but = to have ; et plusieurs chevaux = horses (pluriel)
"ride horse"	l'expression est to go horse riding (ou to ride a horse)
"In my ranch"	on dit on a ranch (préposition on)
"a guys"	a = singulier, "guys" = pluriel → incompatible : people / some workers
"for do everything"	encore le but : to do everything (jamais "for" + verbe)
"it was so funny"	fun (agréable) ≠ funny (qui fait rire) ; et au conditionnel : it would be so much fun

🌟 Notes détaillées

La grande règle : le conditionnel — tout ton texte est un rêve (« si je gagnais… »). Donc presque tous les verbes doivent être au conditionnel : I would + base. C'est ta seule vraie erreur, mais elle revient partout : « I bought », « I took », « had » → I would buy, I would hire, I would like to have. Tu l'as déjà bien fait au début (« I would use », « I would like ») : garde-le jusqu'au bout !
La structure « if » (2ᵉ conditionnel) — pour un rêve, la formule est : If + prétérit …, … would + base. Tu as écrit « If I won … I would use » : parfait ✅. Continue pareil : « If I still had money, I would buy… ».
"for" + verbe → "to" + verbe — pour exprimer un but (« pour avoir », « pour faire »), on utilise toujours to + verbe : to have horses, to do everything. « for have / for do » n'existe pas en anglais.
"afther I have yet money" → "if I still had money after that" — deux choses : orthographe after (pas « afther »), et « encore de l'argent » se dit still (I still have money), pas « yet » (qui sert surtout dans les questions et le négatif).
Les pluriels — « horse », « cat », « dog » au pluriel dès qu'il y en a plusieurs : horses. Et people est déjà un pluriel (jamais « peoples » ni « a people »).
"a big ground" → "a big field" — ground = le sol (par terre). Un grand terrain / un pré pour les chevaux, c'est a field.
"In my ranch" → "On my ranch" — pour une ferme / un ranch on utilise on : on a farm, on a ranch.
"it was so funny" → "it would be so much fun" — trois points : conditionnel (would be, pas le passé), fun = agréable / funny = drôle, et on dit so much fun.
Bravo pour les connecteurs — tu as déjà « And », « too », « maybe », et même « No, maybe… » qui rend le texte vivant. Ajoute-en encore quelques-uns (First of all, Actually, Of course, Especially) pour étoffer sans te répéter.

✍️ Pour aller plus loin

Développe chaque idée avec « because » pour dire pourquoi : "I would help people because I think it's important to share." Ça ajoute des mots ET des sentiments.
Donne des détails concrets : combien de chevaux ? quels noms ? où serait le ranch ? quels pays visiterais-tu ? Chaque détail = 5–10 mots de plus.
Raconte une journée type sur ton ranch : "In the morning I would ride my horses, then I would swim in the pool."
Ajoute des connecteurs : First of all… / Actually… / Of course… / Especially… / In the end…
Termine par une conclusion avec un sentiment : "In the end, I think I would feel really happy and free."

Correction — Rédaction 4

Légende

✅ Le texte corrigé, en entier

✨ Une version étoffée (~200 mots)

Erreurs fréquentes

🌟 Notes détaillées

✍️ Pour aller plus loin